Nothing...

I am just bored. I got nothing to do. I'm alone in my room. Flashbacks creeping in. I think I made a wrong decision again, or maybe its right. I'm all confused. My sanity hangs by a thread. I feel happy. I feel sad. I feel good and I feel bad. I feel bitter yet I feel sweet. I'm filled with love and yes I'm also filled with hate. My heart is full and yet its broken. My spirit is free and yet I feel bound. I just don't know what to do with myself. After accepting someone's apology, I still feel dirty, I still blame myself for what happened to me. My friend told me not to be hard on myself, but I just can't help it.

I think I'm a slut, but I'm not a total whore. Anton I forgave you but up until now I still mourn. God please help me, I don't know what to do. There's this thin darkness surrounding me that I just can't break free......

Sad...sad...sad...again............................ Mimi...